Friday, December 16, 2016

Life Lately

I know I haven't written in a while and it's kind of sad. I've had soo many things to talk about and ideas to put out there but I didn't do it because life gets in the way sometimes and then you forget about it. I didn't write it down either because usually I'm busy with the kids and don't think about writing it down. 

If you follow me on social media then you know that I was recently in a car wreck. I went to pick up the boys in Knoxville, TN. They spent a few weeks with my parents and so we both drove halfway. On my way back home I had to stop soo many times because, if you have 3 kids...that's what happens. I 100% believe that it wasn't my fault. I'm the one that got the ticket because of "failed to yield." I was ready to fight it and go to court but then I realized that it would be such a hassle having to drive two hours away and get a baby sitter for the whole day and pay a lawyer that probably won't be able to do much in my defense. I talked to my god father who is a retired cop and he said the odds aren't in my favor because they don't have proof that she was speeding or that her lights were off...and I have no evidence to help my case. So either I'm blind or I can't see well in the dark or she was the one breaking the law. 7 years with a clean record vs a 20 year old that has been in 3 wrecks already. How do I know? because she was literally bragging about it and telling me that this car wreck was a piece of cake compared to her other two. She left soo excited that she was going to get a new car. I was just glad that my kids were safe and alive. Since we only had one vehicle, Evan had to borrow our neighbors car to come pick us up two hours away. It was not a good night...or week. 

I had been stressing out about it the whole week. We had to rent a car, drive back to where my Flex was to take out my personal items to then find out that this girl who was driving in her itty bitty little car hit me hard enough to break the frame of my suv. So that's how my Flex was totaled. Then we remained without a car for a couple days until we were able to rent one through our insurance. Then this past weekend we bought two new cars so something like this wouldn't happen again to where I'm stranded with the kids somewhere. I'm not sure how I feel about our new vehicles because I felt rushed considering our rental was going to be up in a few days and we had to hurry so that we wouldn't have to pay for it out of pocket. So we bought a car in a rush. Also, I still don't have my new used car because they're fixing it. That sounds good. I bought a car that had something wrong with it and I get to pick it up on Wednesday. Evan's truck is...well it's his truck and he likes it so that's all that matters. 

We went to church this past Sunday and I felt defeated because out of all of the chaos, I kept forgetting to rely on Jesus and to put my trust in Him and to give Him all of my worries and fears. All I did was stress, complain, and worry. I've been financially worried about all these payments we're going to have to make but I really need to stop and trust in Him. He has everything under control. All of my financial worries are in His hands. All of my emotional fears are in His hands. Even when it feels like He's not there, He is. God is with us.

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. -Isaiah 41:10