I'm nervous. I'm soo nervous. What if I'm bad at it? What if I waste a year of my child's education because I wanted to try it out? What if I can't make it fun for them? What if they don't learn much at all with me? What if I fail? Soo many what ifs. But I have to try because I know I will regret not trying.
Many of you are probably wondering why I want to home school so here's why.
- I want my kids to love to learn. I don't want it to be forced.
- If one of my kids has any special interests in what he likes to do, we can focus more on that area.
- There will be no peer pressure to be something they're not.
- Or peer pressure to do things that they know are bad but "hey all of their friends are doing it too, so why not?"
- They don't have to be worried about who likes them and who doesn't.
- I get to spend all day with them! Yay! And it will make my relationship with my sons stronger every day.
- We will have a more flexible schedule and being in the Army, that is very very helpful. If Ev were to get leave, we could easily go somewhere without worrying about the kids missing school. We'll just take school with us!
- Field trips whenever, wherever we want.
- I get to teach them about Jesus, my morals, and my values that I believe in. We can pray in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening without someone telling them it's not okay.
- They will be more mature and confident in themselves.
Now, the reasons I've been feeling led to home school my children is because, I didn't have a good experience in public schools. I had really bad sinuses and I was almost always with a cold, so I couldn't stay home every day because of it, ya know? It was the hardest thing being in class trying to hold all of my sneezes and runny nose. I also had asthma so I didn't get to go out to recess with all of the other kids everyday. I was forced to sit inside and read books by myself while all of my friends were outside playing. Luckily my boys are all healthy and don't have any health issues. Once I was in middle school I was bullied for being Hispanic. I was called cockroach, a beaner, and told to go back to Mexico multiple times even though I was born in America. It hurt. Bad. Sure I had a few friends but I hated going to school. I became depressed. I didn't want to go to school because I didn't want to deal with people calling me names every day in the halls.
I was smart at one point, but I got to where I just couldn't concentrate on my school work and then I got to the point to where I stopped caring. My grades dropped and guess what? The teachers did not care. If I ever needed help with something, I had to go to tutoring after school, where there would be several students and one teacher that only knew his or her one subject. Therefore not everyone could be helped...which resulted in a waste of time for over half the students there. So I stopped going to tutoring. In high school I worked hard to get my grades back up but it was hard. The teachers only helped who they wanted to help. It felt more like they only helped the popular kids and everyone else...well too bad. High school was nothing but a popularity contest. Now looking back, I feel like having a King and Queen for dances is a joke. The same people get nominated for every dance. If I had the chance to go back to high school, I wouldn't. It was a literal hell for me. I know that's not the case with everyone, but that's how it was for me. My siblings seem to all agree with me as well. Maybe it was because of the school we went to? Who knows. All I know, is that I don't want my kids to go through the same things that I did.
But isn't that part of life? Yea sure it can be. But it doesn't have to be. To some of you, it may seem like I'm trying to protect my kids from the "real world" but honestly the "real world" is not the same for everyone. The real world is what you make life out to be for yourself. I want better for my kids. I want to teach them to be loving and kind. I want them to learn what it means to be humble and blessed. I want them to be able to lead their own spiritual lives. I want them to be happy. I want to hear them laugh. I want a trust built between us. I want them to feel that it's safe to ask me anything. I want to be the one they come to when they're in trouble in stead of hiding in fear because they don't know me well enough to know how I'd react.
So sorry for the longest post about homeschooling, but these are my opinions/stories. Take them however you'd like. I am however still deciding on whether or not to put Judah in kinder for a year while I focus with Micah to get him to where he needs to be. Then the next school year when I have Micah caught up, I'll be able to home school the both of them together. Good plan? Si or no? Besides, Kindergarten is the fun grade so if we go that route he'll enjoy it.