Thursday, September 4, 2014

Late Night Thoughts

College is harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm only taking four classes instead of five since I'm pregnant and all, but even with one less class I feel like I literally don't have any free time now. Even right now, I should be doing my homework but I'm so tired of it already. All of my classes act like I don't have any other classes. It's ridiculous. I don't know if it's because I'm taking online classes or what but all of this homework and pop up quizzes and tests need to slow it down. Geezzzee. Today for example, I had to take a math test online and it took me a little over 2 hours just to finish it because I had to tend to my kids in-between and during questions so I wasn't entirely focused and after the test I scored a 50% all because I forgot to put my answers in parenthesis. A couple of them were actually wrong, but the majority were right. I was just missing parenthesis. It's a good thing you get the best score out of two. I finally put the kiddos to sleep and I thought good and hard about retaking the test right about this time and thought "ehh better not." I'm probably less focused now than I was earlier just because of how tired I am. I still have a lot of reading to do as well. Ooohh what was I thinking. haha 

Do you ever feel like everything in life is hitting you hard all at once? I feel like that right now. I know everyone has their troubles but I always feel like I'm the only one going through them. I'm not sure if it's because I'm pregnant or what but I've been so so stressed out. As many of you know Evan is deployed overseas right now and I'm pregnant, due in December. He's not going to be here for the birth. I'm a single mother even though I'm married. College is tough stuff. I don't have enough money to pay a babysitter to watch my kids just so that I can do my homework and take tests. A little over a week ago I got my wisdom tooth taken out, no medication. So you can only imagine how cranky I was. Then over the weekend Judah, Micah, and I got a nasty cold, with sore throat. So then I was even more cranky than before. None of us were able to sleep for three nights in a row. Then there's always family drama that you can never get away from even when you try to. It's just one thing after another. I'd like to say this pregnancy has been going great, but it's been the toughest pregnancy I've ever had. I'm constantly in pain. It hurts to walk and move around but I do it anyways because I have a life to live. I can't just stay in bed all day and do nothing because it hurts. I have to tough it out.
Just thought I'd share these photos from the day before we all got sick. Yay for happy faces! plus they are too cute not to share. Don't ya think?

  P.S. if you tell me sorry about this pity post, it'll most likely make me mad because I don't like it when people tell me they're sorry just to say something. I try not to ever say sorry unless I have something better to say after it. Or if I can, actually do something about it. Like something awesome. Not just a "sorry, hope you feel better" ya that makes me mad. Is that bad? It's like...bring me some soup and tell me in person!! I will feel a lot better if you bring me soup. Thanks. haha

Okay I could seriously keep this rant going on forever but "ain't nobody got time for that!".
So what I really wanted to share...is this 

"The spirit of the fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control" - Galatians 5:22

I read that verse tonight while I was reading to Judah and Micah and thought, "DANG" yes all capitalized. DANG! because for the past month or so I've been struggling hard with all of these. Yep all of em. I need to work on all of these. So this is what I need to keep saying to myself when I find myself doing the opposite. (:

 p.s. feel free to shower me with some good advice and any amazing verses that will help me through these times. (: That would be greatly appreciated. Ta ta for now!