Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Being and Having Been a Teen Mom and Army Wife

To start of this new year, I want to put this out there for many friends and family who have been wondering why I got married and pregnant at seventeen. 
I'm 20 now but first of all, it's not at all a bad thing. It's a beautiful experience. Evan and I genuinely and truly love each other. When you know he's the one... he's the one. If he asked me to marry him (and he did) I'm obviously going to say yes. Why would I say no? I was pregnant when he asked and that's not the reason we got married. If I didn't love him as much as I did, I would have had my baby with out marrying him. I'm capable of being a single mother, but why would I go on being a single mother when this wonderful guy who loves me just as much or more wants to be in my life and wants to take responsibility and have a family with me? I don't think we rushed it. I wanted to get married before I got all fat and chunky, so we did. I didn't tell hardly anyone from school, only super close friends, and I didn't want them knowing because I knew none of them would understand and I didn't want everyone telling me what to do and giving me their negative energy and opinions on the whole ordeal. People from school however did find out after, and that's fine and they judged me just as I thought they would but I didn't care. As long as I was and still am  happy, that's all that mattered and still matters to me.

Some people think that we're kids raising kids. First of all if any of you watch MTV's 16 and Pregnant. It's not at all like that. That show is an insult to many young mothers out there. I know some friends that are my age and have a baby or two and none of them are like the girls on that show. 

Also, some of you think that if you get married young and have children as young as I, you can't get a higher education, you can't work, or hang out with friends, oh your social life is over, and you can't travel like you wanted to. Well all of that is a lie. You can do all of those things. I don't even live in my home town anymore. Since I've had Judah and Micah, I go hang out with my friends as much as I want, I go out to eat and shop whenever I have money, I haven't started on getting a higher education because right now I'm just enjoying being a mother and taking pictures, cooking new recipes, playing my guitar and piano, and singing as well. I've found who I am already. You can do that even though you're married and have kids. I don't know why people think that you can't do that being married. YOU CAN! I've traveled so many places already, I've even met some famous people personally along the way. I would have met them either way being married or not. I'm just saying being married and having children does not disable you to living life. And I'm having the time of my life, thank you very much.

To be honest, I'm so glad I got pregnant and married as young as I did. Was I scared to get married? OF COURSE! I was scared, but one thing I knew was true...I loved Evan, so there was no reason to be scared. I wasn't scared to get married so much as I was scared of change. I was going to move out of my parents house. The house I've lived in for seventeen years. I was moving in an apartment with my love. I became independent. I started paying my own bills and buying my own groceries and it was hard. I didn't rely on Evan for everything. We relied on each other. I've learned so much about myself being with Evan than I ever would have not being with him. I've learned how to love unconditionally and selflessly. I've learned what respect is. I've learned what it is to be mother.
I understand what most of the people my age think about having kids this young, trust me, because I was that person. I didn't want to have any kids until I was in my late 20s/ early 30s. Luckily things didn't go as planned. I was blinded by society's opinions on what having a child is all about. It's not as bad as everyone who doesn't have kids think it is. I can't imagine my life without Judah and Micah. My family is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've grown so much. I'm strong not just for myself but I'm strong for my family. I would do anything for them. They are the loves of my life. 

That's all there really is to it. Love. So before you go judging someone or a group of people who have kids young and get married young, you should experience getting married to someone you love and having children with that person. I'm not saying you have to do it right now but in the future when you do, you'll understand why I, and others my age have done it so early. We are the lucky ones who didn't have to go another few years trying to find that special person. And maybe you have found that special person but you're afraid to settle down with that person because you're afraid it'll disable your freedom, well if you think that then maybe you're with the wrong person, because Evan gives me all the freedom I could ask for, not that I ask for it that much because I love being with him and having him around. Also being an army wife, I hardly get to see him as much as I'd like, but that's life.